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The Reality Of My Delusions And Hallucinations

There is nothing more disconcerting for me than my delusions and hallucinations.

They occur every day.

When my wife is available, I will oftentimes get a “reality check,” which definitely helps.

I don’t share any of the things I share with you, under the notion that you should in some way, feel sorry for me. I just want you to better understand me.

So, my schizophrenia symptoms happen when I write, too.

They happen all throughout the day.

I often question whether I am in a simulation, or whether I am just living a life that all-out sucks.

I question the existence of a higher power when I see evidence (a whole lot of evidence sometimes) to the contrary.

I guess oftentimes, I just don’t know what is real.

This is schizophrenia.

Also, the more information I get out on the blog, the more I feel as though I am being watched, and I feel persecuted for telling the things I tell.

Schizophrenia is my Achilles heel. I did not ask for this, I would not wish this upon any of my enemies (of which I do dislike a few people).

My condition is not a death sentence, but it is some real deal bullshit.

14 thoughts on “The Reality Of My Delusions And Hallucinations Leave a comment

  1. Some of my friends with schizophrenia developed it alongside their childhood trauma. In some way perhaps, it was the way their brains developed to cope, alongside a latent vulnerability to psychosis.

    One thing they have told me is the huge stigma they face, and the fear of losing friends due to the stigma. I always felt sad they experience this fear due to the stigma. You, like them, are brave, and deserve good friends.

    Like

  2. Real Bullsh*t, I love that. It’s never easy living with mental illness. I had episodes of psychosis some years ago, now I only experience hallucinations. I have a physical disorder which affects my sleep patterns and when I go without sleep for more than 40+ hours, I start to see and hear things others don’t. Hubby’s used to it and is very supportive. But he does think I need to see a Doctor lol. I was a mental health nurse for many years before I got physically sick so the voices and visions don’t bother me too much.

    Keep telling your ‘story’, it’s important. Caz x

    Like

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