Ambition And Chronic Mental Illness: A Special Kind Of Hell

I feel like shit today.

All told, I got seven hours of sleep last night. And, I still feel terrible.

Welcome to my life with chronic mental illness!

The trajectory can be better than this, but it depends a lot on one’s quality of sleep, which I have a difficult time with sleep.

That and I am ambitious, which hurts me amid chronic mental illness.

In fact, having ambition is a special kind of hell, when you are chronically ill.

Allow me to say just that!

The two together are much like torture (if I were to experience torture that is)!

How do you handle your ambition amid battling your mental illness?

14 thoughts on “Ambition And Chronic Mental Illness: A Special Kind Of Hell

  1. It’s such a strange and quite cruel paradox that so many people with chronic illnesses seem to be very ambitious or even perfectionist. Luckily, I am not a perfectionist, but I do know how it feels when you have plans and things to do and your mental illness, lack of quality sleep or both get in the way. Sometimes I try to push through but it rarely ends well, so mostly I have learnt to just wait for a better day. And as for longer-term goals I’ve mostly accepted by now that not all is doable, which is probably an easier process for me than it could be for many other people since I was born with a disability so am used to some limitations.


    1. Yes. It is quite difficult to set and achieve goals with a disability. We have the same obstacles as so-called normal people, plus an additional one with being disabled. Oh well. We do the best we can! 🙂


  2. That definitely sounds like a tough combination. I’ve never been especially ambitious, so it’s not really something I’ve had to deal with personally.


      1. My approach with that is not to set timelines. I know that works well for some people, but I find my output is so variable that it’s better for me to just let things happen (or not happen) in their own time.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. This is a really tough one… And so frustrating. I guess it comes down to taking days 1 at a time in terms of what you can accomplish and having a good support system. Very interesting post! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just keep on believing, you know, and writing “notes” on little slips of paper, that never turn into anything except dryer lint. My blog has been somewhat of an antidote to the feeling as if no dreams are ever being realized. Coffee and tea help, but never too late in the day, because of the insomnia. Best of luck. I know you’ll go far, as your blog is great and your dreams are true. Keep on believin’!


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