I’ve recently realized that the few people I call friends, have been such, in part by my “faking” being well.
I can’t imagine many of these people knowing how to handle me at my worst. And, while a few of them theoretically might have stuck around, the chances are slim that they’d all be here long-term!
They each know about my illness. They can see my nuances. And, what they get from me is, what a lot of people get, and that’s “fakery” in regards to my being well!
Consider, if you will, what it would be like to be friends with someone who always has problems. Who isn’t well. Who basically has “more going on” than the average person. And, how all of this might affect you!
I just accept that people have gotten used to this version of me, which is why I’ve (in one way or another) found myself being the one who reaches out the vast majority of the time!
My friends all lean on the opposite side, politically. And, while I don’t agree with that part about them, it’s not up to me to say who gets to believe what.
I often go with the flow, and that includes not discussing politics, even when I want to. And again, me doing most of the reaching out.
Without them, though, I’d be even more isolated. So, I have made it a point to work on my friendships.
What are your experiences in the friendship realm? Do you have many friends? Are you “faking” being well around them? Do you find yourself being the one who reaches out to everyone?