Where Would You Be…?

Where do you suppose you would be, had you not become ill?

I think the question is interesting, because I really was heading downhill and quick like when I became full-blown ill.

What I know now is that had I been able to tolerate antipsychotics earlier on in the treatment process, I might be a bit better off.

While not complaining, I do take into account the experiences I would have likely missed out on, as I did manage to squeeze in a few things, that I probably wouldn’t have been able to, had I been on an antipsychotic regimen.

But, it may not be helpful to compare where I am today to where I was yesterday, except to note that I am much more stable than the times I “broke,” and as I’ve worked hard by “trying” for better experiences.

So yes, I am more stable today because I am taking all of my medication. And, I won’t mince words for that.

Do you ever think about the old you, and have some thoughts about that person?

15 Comments

  1. In the earlier years my illness caused temporary detours from the path my life was on, but as time has gone on it’s taken my life in an entirely different direction. It is what it is, and I’ve already worked through it in my head.

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  2. I feel like I would probably be a really successful businesswoman or a doctor. I have extreme social anxiety and depression, along with eating disorders. Much of my life was spent withdrawn and sleeping, but I still made it into a good career despite all of that. If I had been working towards bettering myself that whole time, I’d be pretty well off, I imagine.

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  3. This is a really good question and I have appreciated reading your thoughts and the comments. Because I feel like my illness started when I was young, it is hard to imagine life without anxiety and depression. It does cross my mind every now and again what life would be like in all aspects if I didn’t have these illnesses.

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  4. I may have graduated college on a more timely basis, but I also rarely think about that kind of stuff. I appreciate what I’ve learned in the experiences I’ve had, and psychosis is a part of my being in the world. Days are hard, but days are hard for a lot of people.

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  5. I think it’s a very interesting question to ask, and seeing the comments on this post show that it’s a thought that’s popped into many people’s heads at some point or another. I think that since my issues started at such a formative time in my life (teenage years), it’s hard to think about what my life would be like without it – and makes me nervous that I wouldn’t really like who that person was/would become.

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