The Basics Of Dealing With My Severe Mental Illness

My responsibility in life is to firstly, take my meds.

Taking care of myself is difficult.

But, how much more difficult would it be without any medications?

I want to say that taking care of myself to the best of my ability is what I have to do!

For me, there have been many moments, where I question my ability to do more, and those moments are typically followed by my having great difficulty doing even the basics.

Thus, it’s a cycle—whereby I want to contribute more, but I can’t.

It’s a reluctant, but necessary “NO” to a world and to people who do not understand.

And, some will say… what can you do?

Aside from sometimes forcing myself to have and to work on hobbies…

I can sleep too little or too much and not be rested.

I can follow a checklist and not make any real progress.

I can be concerned, panicking about my future as I age.

So, I can do several things, including thinking that I am not depressed, when I am actually quite depressed.

And, a lot of this makes me think about others battling chronic illnesses—do we ever really get out of survival mode?

Or, is there another term to describe the challenges we face?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

16 Comments

  1. I feel like one major reason why so many of us are stuck in survival mode is because our societies, across the globe, seem to see certain groups as lesser, as “burdena on society”. Having mental illness that is chronic and which affects ability to work for example. And other stuff like that, including physical disability.

    Disability benefits by governments are often barely adequate for survival, or family is pressured to help and one become their “burden”.

    But we shouldn’t be judged by that. Although I myself struggle that I’m not “accomplishing more in my life” and am far behind similar aged peers.

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    1. I understand this and it sucks. I don’t know how to solve the problems associated with a messed up society, but I think a start is to discuss them at the highest levels. But, the system is rigged in favor of the rich, not the disabled. So, what can be done? Your guess is as good as mine. :/

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      1. Yup 💜. Although we’re halfway across the world from you, I appreciate your determination, and understanding. So many regular people in my life (without disabilities or chronic health issues including mental illness) just don’t understand.

        Worse, they think we (in the USA, UK and my country too etc) are burdens and that we should be grateful for what help we can get. Because after all, we don’t starve to death or kill ourselves from too much debt bla bla, “be grateful you even get help when you don’t contribute”.

        Etc- when social safety nets are piss poor and can easily be strengthened (at least in the USA and my country) if our nations aren’t tax havens with voter suppression going on (gerrymandering in mine) etc.

        This friend earning A LOT per month… lecturing me on my own country where I was born and bred in, I worked in the civil service for years… like she knows “reality” for the marginalised better than me who is actually living it. And of course talking ignorant crap like our government is so great when I’ve actually been working in government and no it’s not great

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks and hugs to you! 🙂 The world is is need of a revolution. Not just our individual countries, but the world!

        I don’t know if and when things will get better without one.

        In my country, I believe the conservatives are ready for a fight.

        You know, the same people… most of whom refuse a vaccine and then beg for one while on a ventilator.

        Sadly, we have politicized even health care here in the U.S. So sad…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t care how functioning or non functioning one seems to the world. It is a struggle to exist with mental health issues as much as any other chronic illness. When survival is all you know is it just life? I feel the struggle in my head gets worse the older I get because my expectations and wisdom tell me I should be or do better. What if there is no better? I wish I had unicorn and rainbows to share but I totally get what you wrote here. Hugs to us all.

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  3. Actually you are doing something very important by sharing yourself with us. It helps me to know I’m not alone in experiencing times when I can hardly do anything. But I am not in survival mode today. I bought a fucking couch and had it delivered today and I’m sitting on it now as I write this. So I hope I can offer you a glimmer of something.

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  4. A lot of times it feels like I’m stuck in survival mode because of how hard I work at getting what I need – I don’t think I’ve ever had an alternative description that’s ever felt accurate. Kudos to you for recognizing and figuring out that cycle!

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