Many times when I’m on the verge of discovering something i.e. having a breakthrough, I have this series of moments, whereby I think to myself, wow… I can see this or I can see that… and, I can feel how difficult it was to get here… but, why is it so difficult to begin with?
I am grateful to overcome challenges when I do, but each time I make strides, it is often followed up with… “yep… that could have been easier!”
And, it’s not easy… for anyone… but more difficult for the chronically mentally ill.
In my experience, in order for things to get easier, you have to plug into your self-awareness, and experiment, experiment, experiment.
It works, and that is one reason why I remain open minded (especially in the sense that we are all human beings, each of us trying to make and find our way, etc).
In case you are wondering, the epiphany I had today was that caffeine helps me, and that for me personally, I need to have it. And, a lot of it.
And so, I am drinking diet soda vs. regular soda, in an effort to keep my teeth from rotting out and my sugar intake to a minimum.
This may all sound weird, but I basically decided to make caffeine available to me most hours of the day.
Yes, I get anxious… but, anxiety is something I am generally willing to deal with, to (hopefully) feel more alive!
Will see if this is the ticket or not, to feeling “decent” for more than two days in a row, which I’ve never really been able to do (that I can recall).
So yes, I would appreciate feeling more alive/energetic, and believe that relying on caffeine is going to have to be the ticket to my getting there.
That said, what is your relationship with caffeine? And, what are your “rules” surrounding it?