Acceptance (A Poem)

I can get out of bed every day, which earns me a smiley face on my Sparkle app! 🙂

I can do a few chores (if I’m lucky).

Maybe get started on an activity (lately it’s been blogging).

And, I can drink some caffeine, all in the hopes of harnessing the energy. I just. don’t. have.

I can do all of these things and less! Always less (or so it seems) than what I am satisfied with!

What can everyone else do?

It’s more! Way more than the few things I grapple with! No doubt. 😦

Is this my life for the rest of my life?

I would gladly trade my life in, take a do over/reset, or align myself with whatever I can, to make things better!

I’ll choose the option that makes me more on par with the rest of society!

But, that option doesn’t exist for me, is not happening, nor will it happen “in good time” (if it happens at all) in my lifetime.

I want answers!

And, yet I fight!

I’m always fighting!

It’s like everything that’s happened in my life up until mental illness, was preparation for mental illness.

Fucking hell!

4 Comments

  1. I really felt this. I definitely struggled very hard before going to therapy. I can’t remember a time when I felt confident and wasn’t struggling really. Therapy has been amazing, and I have some good days when I feel great, but I sometimes everyday still feels like a struggle. I’ve definitely gotten better with therapy, but man it’s hard, and you really captured that in this poem!

    Liked by 1 person

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