Genetic Diseases Suck

I wanted to share that I wrote three posts between yesterday and today, while accidentally having skipped a number of psych meds, that affect my disposition. But, at least I get certain things out!

There seems to be dementia on both sides of my family. Not to mention, mental illness, which I already have.

And, while I am obese (which obesity runs on one side of the family), I keep trying to find enough happiness/peace/stability, that I can do better with eating and exercising.

I’ve actually lost about 10 pounds since being sick with a cold. The cold is not Covid, and has helped me to realize I need allergy meds. So, I now have those.

Anyway, genetic diseases suck per the post title.

Some day, it will be within more people’s reach to cherry pick their offspring’s genes.

Since I don’t have that kind of money and have NO desire to have children, this is a non-issue for me.

And, while I’m thinking about it… I am damn proud! I am damn proud of the work I’ve done so far in life. I am damn proud of the awareness I sometimes have. And, I am damn proud that I could give a shit less about assholes (with particular attention paid to those I once knew, who have also wronged me).

It’s all good!

Day by day… 🙂

Have a good one!

Thoughts On ‘Trying’

First off, I am a pessimist, for now and likely forever. And, I’ve gotten here from educating myself on things and seeing how the world works. Especially things in the United States.

So, for me, getting organized in different places on my phone, online, and at home, has made a big difference!


Perhaps the most important thing to curtail my confusion though, has been this attitude, that, “it will get better if I just hang in there.”


Well, I’ve been hanging in there for quite some time (20+ years)! And, I am happy to say, that today, I challenge most everything!


If something doesn’t sit right with me, I question it! And, this has helped me while on the path of self-development…


So, self-development for a moment…


It has negative connotations, but again (for me), it just means I will try in spite of everything! In spite of every crummy, crappy, shitty, and difficult thing I go through (and there are many), I will try!


It is my hope that for those struggling, that you know A) I am barely holding on myself; but that B) I keep doing what I can to have a better life!


I see it like this… for years, I’ve been spinning my wheels, but I’m still alive! And, it takes me infinitely longer to do many things that some people can complete in an hour or two. And, I accept all of this!


However, I have a hope, that we can all get there. One day at a time… not necessarily to a place that doesn’t exist, but rather, to a place of greater understanding!

How have you reconciled change in your life? What have you done to make things better? What kinds of changes have you made that stand out for you?

How My Self-Recorded Reminders Are Helping Me

“Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.”

And, you know what?

That’s just the type of thing I want to remind myself of where my schizoaffective disorder is concerned.

As the case is, I ruminate over some of the same things again and again, many days of the week.

So, I made a recording that addresses these issues once and for all!

You could alternatively name it, “Combatting The Voices.”

So, for anyone who wants to try helping themselves with some of their repetitive thoughts, I can recommend some great tools that will help with that!

For the mac or pc (even Linux)… Download and install Audacity (it’s free)!

If you want to record anything, Audacity is as good as it gets, and rivals the best paid-for applications on the web.

It’s safe, and it will do the job of taking your voice and making a copy of it to refer to in the future.

Optionally… if you want a microphone, you can pick up a USB mic, that will work with the mac, the pc, and (again) Linux.

Of course, you don’t need an external microphone, as many computers have built in mics!

Recording myself addressing the things I most need to be reminded of, is presently making an impact, and is steering me away from some of my suicidal thinking.

Whatever helps, right?

Exactly! And, who would have thought that recording affirmations/reminders for 20 years would help lay the foundation for when I found greater direction for my days?

How do you handle learning and self-improvement? What self-help techniques, aside from taking meds or going to therapy, are in your toolbox?

A Bit About The Spoon Theory (And How I’m Practicing It)

Not long ago, I shared a generic daily checklist with you, here on my blog.

It was something I put a great amount of effort into, but at the end of the day, it held too many options.

Sure, it was nice seeing all of the daily possibilities in one place, but I have nowhere near the energy it takes to fill up that checklist!

So, I started looking more into the Spoon Theory, that Ashley from Mental Health @ Home has shared with all of us.

Turns out, not only was I basically reinventing the wheel with my daily checklist, I was being ineffective in getting the most important things done!

The Spoon Theory isolates those things that are most important and gives them a ranking system, allowing for you to choose where you spend your energy, day in and day out.

It just keeps things simple, which I like very much.

The originator of the Spoon Theory created it for herself some time ago, to share with friends and family, how she deals with lupus.

She once said, that the Spoon Theory is for anyone battling an illness, and severe mental illness would definitely fit into that category.

In the spirit of sharing more of my day to day with my readers, I am including a snapshot of my spoons.

Thus, I hope others can find inspiration on the Spoon Theory. And, a quick google search regarding Spoon Theory will tell you all you need to know to get started.

For reference purposes, I have been trying to allot myself 15 spoons every day. And, many days I work with that or a little bit less.

I am interested to know. Who all out there is practicing the Spoon Theory (or any variation of such)? And, what have you found is a good number of spoons to deal with, for your situation?

Things I Feel I Must Come To Terms With

While I don’t really want to die, I think a lot about death.

And, because of the problems with current treatments for my schizoaffective disorder, I will likely die of an obesity-related illness.

I know. To some, this will sound defeatist.

But, no matter what I do, I can’t sleep consistently and I am not able to eat less with consistency either.

Both my weight and lack of a consistent sleep routine have caused me a great deal of pain, for at least 20-something years.

And, this isn’t about diet! It’s about how the medications I take affect my weight, sleep routine, and activity level. And, how I’d like to have a better plan of action moving forward.

I try so hard! And, currently, I have about three days a month, where I sleep eight to nine hours straight and feel rested.

Plus, I’ll still need one to three naps, even when I get that amount of sleep.

I do go to bed at the same time every night, but I oftentimes have difficulty staying asleep the whole night.

I guess I’m just writing all of this, because I am worn down and could use some advice.

Maybe this community has some suggestions? I’m open to hearing what you have to say.

Implementing long-lasting change will probably be up for grabs.

But, maybe not.

And, therapy is off the table.

Do This When You Can – “My Daily Checklist” (For World Mental Health Day)

Hey all,

I’ve been working on this template for the past year and I hope you find it useful!

It is quite difficult for me to complete many of these items most days; but, having a place for some of the most important items to me, can sometimes afford me a wonderful sense of accomplishment!

Alter the content in any way that helps, and please be sure to add plenty of inspiring images as well!

Also, consider returning to this post in the future, to let me know how the checklist has helped you.

—Mio Angelo

Today Is World Mental Health Day

I have access to mental health care and treatments.

I have good support systems.

I have a partner.

I have good financial resources.

But, I am in the minority of the schizophrenia population with these things.

Better efforts need to be made to help everyone!

Because even though I am comfortable in some ways, I deal with severe symptoms nearly every day.

The fight for better mental health care is only complete when there are better treatments with fewer side effects for all types of severe mental illness.

Alone With Myself And My Thoughts

NOTE: I thought about labeling this poetry, but I couldn’t decide.

All too often, I am alone with myself and my thoughts.

I can’t unload on friends and family every time.

I have to bear some of the load too!

But, I don’t do well unless I am sharing something with someone.

The pain becomes too bearable to handle otherwise.

Sometimes, I can distract myself with hobbies and with contacting a friend.

Other times, I would do good to leave the house.

But, I don’t. I stay put. Unless there’s an appointment of some kind.

How sad is that?

It’s not that I am afraid to go out, it’s that I don’t have the energy!

A song that’s sung all too often, I know…

Whatever it takes though, to get by in life, is what I will do!

It’s not over until I take my last breath. At which point it will be done.

Until then, it’s sharing my woes with all of you good people. And, trying to find better ways to cope.

The Basics Of Dealing With My Severe Mental Illness

My responsibility in life is to firstly, take my meds.

Taking care of myself is difficult.

But, how much more difficult would it be without any medications?

I want to say that taking care of myself to the best of my ability is what I have to do!

For me, there have been many moments, where I question my ability to do more, and those moments are typically followed by my having great difficulty doing even the basics.

Thus, it’s a cycle—whereby I want to contribute more, but I can’t.

It’s a reluctant, but necessary “NO” to a world and to people who do not understand.

And, some will say… what can you do?

Aside from sometimes forcing myself to have and to work on hobbies…

I can sleep too little or too much and not be rested.

I can follow a checklist and not make any real progress.

I can be concerned, panicking about my future as I age.

So, I can do several things, including thinking that I am not depressed, when I am actually quite depressed.

And, a lot of this makes me think about others battling chronic illnesses—do we ever really get out of survival mode?

Or, is there another term to describe the challenges we face?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.