I’ve found that there are no magic pills. No easy fixes.
It takes hard work to manage chronic mental illness.
I take psychiatric medications, because the science of taking them, is in my corner.
I’m all about the science – 80%!
The other 20% is where I make allowances for my own brand of spirituality!
Nothing is perfect with chronic mental illness.
There are dark times, false starts, fears, setbacks, emotional moments, and workarounds.
In a nutshell, taking my psychiatric medications is the foundation for what happiness means to me!
Happiness in the long-term.
Happiness in the moment.
When I say that something is “sad,” it usually is.
I get the notion to express compassion from both my personal integrity, and from my conditioned response to do so.
Since I’ve experienced a lot of difficult times with mental illness, I am well-equipped to say that something (anything illness related), is sad.
I hope that I can continue having compassion (although I don’t think that that will be a problem), and I hope that things will get better for people in my situation. Including me.
But, I am not so hopeful when it comes down to it…
I do not believe in a “cure.”
While some are holding onto hope for that as an answer, I just don’t feel the same way.
I’ll hedge my bets on trying to be compassionate towards everyone though. Even if they believe a cure is coming.
After all, what matters most, in my view, is how you treat others. Especially those who can do nothing for you.
It doesn’t matter when I lay down, or whether it’s at night or if it’s for a nap.
I wake up afraid.
I, of course, am hopeful, that this is just a phase I am going through.
When I am asleep at night, I worry that someone is going to bust into my house and kill my wife and I.
I hate it.
I want to live.
I don’t want to die young. I want to live to be old.
As long as I’m in good health that is.
Do you have any fears associated with going to sleep, or with other situations at other times throughout the day?