Sadly, Things Have Never Been Quite Right

I had a heck of a time growing up.

I never got along with other kids, and the few “friends” I had were just neighborhood kids, that were probably told to be nice to me.

I remember many, many times throughout K-12 being bullied and having to fight.

I was just very different from a lot of other kids.

Looking back, I can see that my parents were just as confused about various things in their own lives.

And, that led me to respect them and their journeys that much more!

It took me most of my 47 years to get to this point, but now I can say… I’m sorry mom/dad and I love you!

I only have one parent to say that too, but I also know that the other parent (who died some years back) would have understood (and did)!

My main desire for myself will probably never come to be, and that’s to remember life at a time when I wasn’t on meds.

While I am a big proponent of meds, I also know that they don’t fix everything. And in fact, they cause troubles with our day to day experiences. Especially anti-psychotic medications.

So, whatever you’ve been through, whatever your plight, please realize there have been thousands (if not millions of people) who have experienced what you’ve gone through, and ended up okay!

I am one of them! Even if I’d like for things to be different.

A Family Who Lacks Awareness, Teases/Bullies One Another

NOTE: Bullying exists in a lot of places, and “in families” is just one example of it.

This is my family and a few of my (former) old friends. And, I myself, believe that there is a fine line between teasing and bullying.

I figured the whole thing out, only after I took a break from the individuals who never expressed concern or interest in me. Unless I reached out first! And, even then… where the results were sporadic.

I learned, through deep reflection, that the people in my former life, relate to one another (dysfunctionally), by taking turns with the “jokes.”

No one really cared to have an intellectual conversation. Rather, it was mostly me.

I could have ended up like “them,” but I am so grateful to be figuring this stuff out now (vs. never, or much later than now).

Life is good to the extent that we are thinking, feeling human beings. And, we can oftentimes affect our lives, through taking action on the things that require our attention!

For me, I may have schizoaffective disorder, but I also have trauma that needs to be “healed” or worked out!

This trauma is indeed challenging, as more and more of it reveals itself to me.

When you’re a kid though, your brain protects you from some of these things. As an adult, if you’re diligent, your brain will make you aware of the things it previously guarded you from.

Time makes some of it better! As long as you work on healing from it.

Like I said, I could have been just like my family (and a few former friends), but I am not! And, for that, I have immense gratitude, as well as more healing to do!

What sorts of general things have you healed from? What are you working on healing from still?