Another Update On My Mental Health

Recently, I wrote about how I am really struggling with my mental health.

Per my psychiatrist mainly, I’ve learned that the meds are not fully doing their job anymore.

I’ve also began really dissecting my thoughts, like never before.

And with all of this, I’ve come to realize, yes, I am doing better with medication; but, there is some resistance to treatment with regards to the efficacy of my meds.

This has been a long time coming.

So many people with severe mental illness struggle to be on meds that work.

I’m seeing that now more than ever before!

Thus, I know that the medication is why I am having such a difficult time overall.

What do I do? I mean, what can I really do?

As I’ve written previously, I am expecting to discuss my situation soon with my doctor and my wife.

My wife and I and other support people have already discussed this matter, so I have a lot to take to my psychiatrist in a few weeks.

I will keep you updated!

In the meantime, I will just say that I know the meds protect me quite a bit… but, they don’t clear up my instance of severe mental illness much at all.

I just want to feel better and I am afraid I’m going to continue to be stuck. For years possibly.

I hope I am wrong!

Have any of you ever felt stuck? What did you do to become unstuck?

“Overcoming” Needs To Be Discussed More Frequently

There’s a lot of people who don’t feel what I feel day in and day out. Maybe 99.5% do not, according to the research.

And, it’s not like there’s a scale for schizophrenia!

Schizophrenia is an illness that you clearly have or you clearly don’t.

You either are (or have been symptomatic) or you’re not. You’ve had a psychotic episode or two or three etc., or you have not!

I guess I’m sharing this because I have come to meet people over the years who don’t deal with severe mental illness in the way that I do.

Oh well! Life definitely sucks more than I want it to!

Still, I choose to dwell on how much I’ve overcome along the way! That’s the only thing that gives me peace and/or satisfaction anymore.

I can’t do it all the time, but remembering my illness-related accomplishments does seem to help!

How about you? What kinds of things have you overcome while being ill?

You Are Who You Are

Recently, I was interacting with a post from a well known company on social media.

The post took a shot at persons with schizophrenia.

It was up for about 30 minutes (at the most), because I publicly called them out!

In that time, there were dozens of “shares,” plus a comment by someone who didn’t see anything “wrong” with the post, which had a laugh at persons living with schizophrenia.

It is ignorant and shitty for people to use schizophrenia in a way that demoralizes those who have the disease.

And, since many people who deal with schizophrenia (and other severe mental illnesses) are just “not in the right head space” to challenge these things properly, they often make it through unchecked!

Also, I read a post on the Mighty by someone who calls themselves a “schizophrenia entrepreneur!”

I am definitely not sure what that means, and I am quite certain that the author believes themselves to be doing well and on the recovery path.

Maybe the statement was just them being light-hearted about a serious subject, but people don’t generally name their mental illness in association with entrepreneurship, or do they?

Have you seen any examples anywhere lately, ranging from people dissing on mental illness to people who have mental illness doing their damndest to be well?

My One Year Blogging Anniversary

This week is my one year blogging anniversary!

With that, I am just wondering whether you think there is a need to change the name of this blog, or should I plan to keep it as it is?

I feel that I do a lot of sharing of information, and it seems a lot like a journal style offering, but I could really use your feedback (as I’m not entirely sure here)!

How do you take my blog? Has it evolved to the point where calling it Mentally Ill In America is no longer valid?

If I don’t change the name, it would be just as helpful to know how you generally categorize my posts!

I am a truth seeker first and foremost (I hope you know that), and it’s not aways about me, so please, please chime in! 🙂

Finally, I’m not sure what I’ll do if anything (maybe change my About page?), but thank you in advance for commenting!

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health: What Does It Mean?

Nathan from MBNB made a post recently, that got me thinking about taking care of my mental health, and what that looks like “in general.”

What exactly does it mean to take care of my mental health?

Well, for me, it has historically meant different things!

Yesterday, it equated to spending chunks of time with family and friends, as well as, taking my meds and attending appointments.

Today, it means spending the majority of my time with my wife, and making time for only a handful of friends, as well as, taking my meds and attending appointments.

It also means that today, I have better boundaries than I used to, which was a problem yesterday!

In-between, there is a constant struggle with my trying to be consistent.

And, you know what?

I’ve made some strides!

It’s just that there’s not a great deal of consistency with me or them…

So, philosophically speaking (and, in general)… I feel discouraged!

What behaviors are you inconsistent with, that you one day, hope to be more consistent with?

To Those Who Grapple With Taking Meds

There were those times when I thought that my meds were changing my very essence, but they weren’t.

There were those moments when I felt like there was only a small part of me that was recognizable, but that wasn’t true.

There were so many instances when I felt (and feel) like dirt, but I know that I will “get through,” and for all intents and purposes, I am going to feel better.

You see, meds are necessary in our lives, and no matter how much we dislike taking them, they help us… they really do.

Indeed, there must be some trust between you, your provider, and your medication regimen.

And, take it from someone who has been in the trenches, that your mental health will improve with time.


Have I Always Been High-Functioning?

The answer is yes.

But, I have not always been “as aware.”

My awareness has grown out of my intention to have it do so.

You see, I want to learn and I want to feel better.

I’ve had to face a lot of fears in order to get here.

And, no matter how much I try, I am not going to be “healed” of this.

There is no healing brain damage.

And, that’s what schizophrenia is!

My heart goes out to everyone who has this (or any other serious mental illness).

We can agree that it all “effing sucks!”

Sleep It Off: A Way Out Of The Funk?

I don’t know how to get out of this funk I am in.

The last time I felt this bad, I called my doctor, who I couldn’t reach!

Sometimes you just want the pain, all of it, to end… No matter what it takes!

I am not one to do anything foolish, but I am one to share my thought process during a difficult time.

And, right now my thought process is, “this sucks.”

Sure, I will continue to sleep it off. But, there is so much confusion associated with where I am at this moment, that I “just don’t know.”

I don’t drink or do street drugs. I just take my medication twice every day.

It’s got to get better and I know it will.

Thanks for reading.

Better But Not Fixed: A Response To My Voices About Employment And Mental Health (Part Two)

In Part One, I posed the following question and answer…

Question: Why don’t mental health advocates talk more about schizophrenia and related disorders?

Answer: It’s not in the agenda.

The reason many mental health professionals do not have it in the agenda, has to do with the severity of the illness.

It is so serious in nature that trying to explain it, regardless of who explains things (even a psychiatrist), people will oftentimes walk away misunderstanding it.

Unless you, yourself have it, or you are a caretaker, or professional… you may just get the wrong idea.

What makes matters even worse, is that the majority of sufferers cannot maintain employment at all (roughly about 10% do).

Also, nearly 10% of those afflicted, succeed in committing suicide, which means even more attempt it.

That’s why I am here, to offer you a better understanding of this family of disorders, when and where I can.

As someone living with schizoaffective disorder (who has been through many changes in stability and functioning), I may ultimately fail in educating you, but I will do my best to succeed!