The Things We Don’t (Or May Not) Share

Today, I talked about death to my wife.

I want to die.

But, do I really?

To me and for me, when I talk about death, it is an escape.

Not actually dying, but discussing the topic.

I wonder if just anyone can do this.

I wonder whether just anyone can openly share their feelings, when it may be considered suicidal ideation.

But, I can.

It’s something I’ve grown into.

And, it helps me.

Does talking about death or dying help you? In what way(s) can you comment?

I Think A Lot About My Relationships, And About Death And Dying

Talk about thinking too much, about things that should occur naturally, and without drama.

I am so frustrated with my thought process as it pertains to my relationships and death.

I think about who likes me, who really cares. I think about how much I like someone, if I want them in my life. And, so on and so forth.

I also think about attending the funerals of everyone who I know, in one form or another.

It just sucks.

On the one hand, I want connection. On the other, I want out of all responsibility.

I wish someone could help me.

So, if anyone knows of any good books or online reads (regarding this subject), I would greatly appreciate hearing about them.

Thank you!

I Want To Die, But For Now, I Will See This Thing Through

Do you ever feel like you want to die?

I do.

When the stress piles on, I see just how unequipped I am for dealing with it.

I’ve come along way with my coping skills, but I still struggle a lot.

This is not the kind of struggle that I can just get over.

I haven’t given up, and I don’t plan to give up. Not anytime soon that is.

So, some of you may wonder what keeps me from giving up?

I have a goal, and no matter how unrealistic it seems some days, I am working on that goal.

But, if my health takes a deep dive (which it could), I might feel entirely different about sticking around.

So, for now, it’s one day at a time for me.

The Struggle And Whether It Gets Better

I am trying, trying real hard.

I struggle. A lot.

I know there is no easy way out.

It wasn’t until last year, that I got excited about the idea of assisted suicide.

I think it’s a good idea, but not one for me. Not at this point.

Things would have to be quite unbearable for me to personally require this service.

But, for others… I get it.

I have a 90-year old grandparent and they recently told me, “I just want to die.”

I don’t see anything wrong with that, though I’d be sad to see them go.

We can never fully be in another’s shoes.

The question I ask is, “how much help do you offer the person before bidding them farewell?”

Something to think about for the future perhaps.

Oh yeah, VOTE in your own self-interest! Please…

It should be common sense, but it isn’t.