Today, I talked about death to my wife.
I want to die.
But, do I really?
To me and for me, when I talk about death, it is an escape.
Not actually dying, but discussing the topic.
I wonder if just anyone can do this.
I wonder whether just anyone can openly share their feelings, when it may be considered suicidal ideation.
But, I can.
It’s something I’ve grown into.
And, it helps me.
Does talking about death or dying help you? In what way(s) can you comment?
Talk about thinking too much, about things that should occur naturally, and without drama.
I am so frustrated with my thought process as it pertains to my relationships and death.
I think about who likes me, who really cares. I think about how much I like someone, if I want them in my life. And, so on and so forth.
I also think about attending the funerals of everyone who I know, in one form or another.
It just sucks.
On the one hand, I want connection. On the other, I want out of all responsibility.
I wish someone could help me.
So, if anyone knows of any good books or online reads (regarding this subject), I would greatly appreciate hearing about them.
Do you ever feel like you want to die?
When the stress piles on, I see just how unequipped I am for dealing with it.
I’ve come along way with my coping skills, but I still struggle a lot.
This is not the kind of struggle that I can just get over.
I haven’t given up, and I don’t plan to give up. Not anytime soon that is.
So, some of you may wonder what keeps me from giving up?
I have a goal, and no matter how unrealistic it seems some days, I am working on that goal.
But, if my health takes a deep dive (which it could), I might feel entirely different about sticking around.
So, for now, it’s one day at a time for me.
I am trying, trying real hard.
I struggle. A lot.
I know there is no easy way out.
It wasn’t until last year, that I got excited about the idea of assisted suicide.
I think it’s a good idea, but not one for me. Not at this point.
Things would have to be quite unbearable for me to personally require this service.
But, for others… I get it.
I have a 90-year old grandparent and they recently told me, “I just want to die.”
I don’t see anything wrong with that, though I’d be sad to see them go.
We can never fully be in another’s shoes.
The question I ask is, “how much help do you offer the person before bidding them farewell?”
Something to think about for the future perhaps.
Oh yeah, VOTE in your own self-interest! Please…
It should be common sense, but it isn’t.