Follow Up And Follow Through: The Impact Childhood Suffering Can Have On Adults (Part Of A Series Of Essays)

I have no official qualifications, other than “empathy,” and a BA in Psychology; and, while those things are “something,” they’re not nearly enough to speak with authority.

What I want to state though, in this essay, is that, we, as a society, due to a variety of reasons, don’t follow up and follow through effectively and efficiently, with our children who are suffering.

I’m not even convinced that if the resources were widely available, that we’d even know how to get results!

This essay comes at a time in my life, when I am realizing the impact that childhood neglect and general suffering have had on me!

As of late, I have found myself believing that my psychosis was possibly caused by my high childhood (and adulthood) anxiety.

But, I was never treated for mental health issues, until I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder!

No, I don’t believe anxiety is solely to blame; but, I do think it has played a role in the mental health symptoms I experience today!

So, more to the point…

What can be done about abuse, neglect, and all the issues surrounding these two phenomena?

My belief… not much.

Not much?

Yes, sadly… not much!

Until you’re an adult that is, which at that point, means you’ve automatically been entered into a “healing” journey.

Occasionally, strides are made during one’s childhood, but not nearly enough is done!

It is so incredibly sad (and painful) to think that I, as a child, experienced neglect with the added touch of food insecurity.

I was always fed, but two days outside of grocery day, all snacks were rummaged through and gone, out of the house!

We’d always siphon through them, until they were caput.

Two days.

There are actually much worse stories involving neglect and abuse. This, I am quite aware of!

But, I cannot begin to write about them, because I don’t know enough about them on an “intimate” level.

All I am familiar with are my personal experiences.

Presently, I am obese and in need of more than a temporary fix for my eating issues.

I have come to believe I am a food addict.

So, at some point, I’ll either have this food addiction thing figured out (and, maybe get some more time on Earth)… or I’ll simply die!

And, I’d be foolish to think that I couldn’t get a myriad of other ailments that might easily take my life before that happens.

Thus, I am making note of the fact that none of us know when our time has come.

We are given today only.

And, wouldn’t I love to do “more” with my today’s?

Yes, I would!

But, my chronic illness has no let up.

I face symptoms every day, that could have, quite possibly, gotten their start in childhood.

With anxiety, depression, and neglect.

Whose to say much of this couldn’t have been avoided?

All I can do is surmise that an Andrew Yang or a Bernie Sanders couldn’t have made a real impact on me (or my family)?

They couldn’t, right?

So, if someone tells you to buck up out there in the blogosphere (or in real life)… you might want to suggest that they get an encyclopedia. And, while they’re at it, change zip codes… Lol.

So you’ll no longer have to deal dumb people!

But, I am sure you know… dump people are everywhere!

Ruminating On My Shitty Family

Before I get started, I want you all to know, that I am practicing kindness towards my shitty family.

That said, the devastation that poverty brings is significant!

As I look back at growing up with my cousins and all of their parents (on one side of the family), I am reminded of the horrors of growing up poor.

All of the adults in this dynamic were employed, but none of them had an education.

Personally, I feel as though if you want to work, you shouldn’t be making total peanuts. Education or no education.

Moving on…

None of my family ever reaches out to me or anyone I am close to.

I’ve done plenty of reaching out on my own, but they just do not reciprocate.

It’s sad; and, I personally blame poor role models, a lack of desire for healing/personal development, as well as (of course), all of us growing up impoverished.

I mean, is it normal to only see one another at the “more important” funerals?

Weddings are also overlooked.

And, sadly, I think that this is fast becoming the way that it is!

Maybe it’s just me, but I wonder…

How did you all grow up, and how do you get along with your (close and extended) family today?

I Am No Longer Preventing My Family Members From Seeing My Facebook Content

Not too long ago, I wrote about how I find some of my family to be toxic.

mentallyillinamerica.family.blog/2020/02/11/family-toxicity/

My previous desire to not post to them on Facebook, changed shortly after I made the above blog post.

Basically, I am mad at a few people and a few situations, and I thought I would “punish” everyone.

Not only is that not fair, it doesn’t do me a whole lot of good to treat others like they’re treating me.

Yes, I am dissatisfied with a few family members, but I’m not going to stress over it.

At the end of the day, you only get one family. Like them or not, there’s no point, for me, in making bad situations worse.

Everyone’s dynamics are different though, and I support people doing what makes them happy.

Family Toxicity

I have 20 family members that I am now preventing from seeing my Facebook posts. I’m also not looking at theirs either.

Life is better this way.

There are only a few decent people in the mix, with the majority of my family being toxic.

I have tried to cultivate relationships with many of my cousins, for example, and no one seems interested in having a relationship.

Just a lot of dysfunction, and I’m no longer having it.

I work on myself, and yes, I will be cordial when seeing family members. But, that’s the extent that my kindness will reach.