The Importance Of Having Your Voice Heard

Some people, I know, from first hand experience, aren’t “ready” or “able” to have a voice. Let alone, share a voice.

For me, it took quite a long time, before I was “ready” or “able” to find my voice. And, share it with the world!

I have had a long journey so far, and I hope I have a long journey (as long as it’s at least somewhat healthy) to go!

It does make the difference that I can share with you my struggles and my triumphs! I try really hard to do both! And, I know it’s helpful! Some of the time, at least! 🙂

In the end, what will have mattered is the life in your years, not the years in your life! Or, so the saying goes!

How do I feel about that?

The saying doesn’t really make a lot of sense to someone like me. At least some of the time.


Because I am inclined to think that each day sucks, but that there are moments in the day that I am content with.

Like when I write. I am happy writing! 🙂

Which moments bring contentment to you?

When You Think Someone Is Plotting Against You

It happens and I hate it.

There seemed to be an element of doubt where some of my former friendships were concerned.

And, just to be transparent…

I have written off my extended family. An extreme measure for some, but for me, a necessary act!

No one in the family dynamic understands healthy relationships that I can see, and their relationships with me have all been quite unstable.

A few friends are gone as well.

This is not a bad thing, but it is a necessary thing.

BTW – I want to plug medications (and, specifically trying different ones)… they are what make the difference for me!

I don’t know where I’d be without them!

Actually, I do know…

I’d be in jail, a psych hospital/home, or in a grave.

How about you? What have your meds done for your illness?

11 Things I Want To Be At Peace With

I want to be at peace with having been a loner growing up.

I want to be at peace with having been bullied growing up.

I want to be at peace with being a part of the 1% of people worldwide who hear voices.

I want to be at peace with my weight loss (even though I am not progressing at present).

I want to be at peace with my level of insight, striving for more awareness every day.

I want to be at peace with currently not knowing the answer/best course of action on many things, but making an effort anyhow.

I want to be at peace with life being a marathon, rather than a sprint.

I want to be at peace with the fact that we all have something that we are dealing with (not to minimize any one person’s suffering).

I want to be at peace with my belief in God, not doubting God exists, every time there’s a sign of trouble.

I want to be at peace with the idea 1) that I may not live a long life, 2) that I could become further disabled, 3) that I may suffer quite a bit physically, 4) that I may suffer for a long time before I pass.

And, finally…

I want to be at peace with the notion that I may have a more encouraged life by overcoming my struggle with obesity, and by better managing my mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Are there any things that you’re working on/want to be at peace with?

Blogs That Make Outlandish Claims

A blog (not associated with WordPress) that I’ve been reading as of late, pissed me off today, with the suggestion that we must all be “grateful,” and that that alone will create more “happiness” in our lives!

I say, “bullshit,” and that they obviously don’t understand the way things are today…

Now, I know these blogs are ultimately wanting to be helpful, but it’s sad when someone who professes to have great insight, relies on the notion that, “some people have it worse!”

It’s that kind of “comparison” thinking that a lot of old-timers use, in an attempt to understand and sound relevant.

But, they fail… oh, do they fail!

And, part of their failure has to do with not caring about the challenges that droves of people are facing today (and every day), from all sorts of adverse “life” situations.

As much as I’d like to continue following the outlandish blog, I know that I cannot.

Are you following any blogs (past or present), that make outlandish claims such as this (or something equally offensive)?

Focus And Changing Direction (Sooner Rather Than Later)

Talk about making mistakes!

And, just because you spent a long time making one!

This post is about how I am learning to change direction a little sooner than I have in the past (by having better focus).

Lately, I have been thinking about my time in school. From K-12 to 4 years of college.

And, what keeps coming up is how I missed key lessons due to having social and mental health issues.

So, I have learned that my focus (or lack thereof) is what has dictated my success (or failure) within a given period of my education.

I am upset because we shouldn’t live in a world of bullying, mental illness, and home problems.

But, we do.

Dammit we do!

And, it sucks.

What kind of adverse situations did you grow up in?

Talking It Out (And Doing The Right Thing) Has Helped Me

One day, while browsing around Reddit, I was excited to find this post’s image file. And, both it and some adjustment of “expectations” (where my friends are concerned), have helped me tremendously!

Due to the symptoms of my illness, it has been so very important to both talk it out and do the right thing, each and every time I am having troubles.

For example, I was upset at a friend, who I had upset (due to some of my symptoms and an inability, at the time, to explain my situation any further).

Now, I know I am being vague.

But, what it all boils down to, is that if you value someone, talk it out, do the right thing, and you’ll rest easier at night!

If it seems difficult (it just might be), just know that sometimes these things are difficult, but you and your relationships are the better for your communicating what needs to be communicated.

And, this advice applies, whether you have an illness or not!

What Can Stable And Functioning Look Like?

I am getting closer to figuring some things out.

It’s about goals.

And, I do better with one goal at a time.

So, for today, it might mean that I have a degree of happiness. Somewhere on the inside… 🙂

I remain symptomatic, however, and I have both delusions and hallucinations.

With schizoaffective disorder, I often get it from every angle.

But, I did wake up today! And, that is something I am working to cherish/build upon!

It would be nice if there weren’t so much fear in my life…

Still, I am “on the path,” which counts for a whole hell of a lot!

What does stable and functioning look like for you?

What’s It Gonna Take?

As I sit here in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, I am reminded that I have a good 20-40 years left of my life—if that (and, if I’m lucky)!

And, this is entirely contingent upon my lifestyle/life choices.

I am obese and I have been for 20 years.

And, it all started with my psych diagnosis.

God bless psychiatry, though, which brings me to my question regarding my health and life, “What’s it gonna take?”

What I can tell you, is that it’s going to take my continuing to at least “try.”

I can distract myself all I want with other things—in order to not think about the deeper questions in life—but, the fact remains—I am dying!

All of us are—from the moment we set foot here.

Now, at this point, obesity is my main physical problem, so…

What matters, is my quality of life while I’m alive, which let’s be honest—for myself and a lot of others—our quality of life sucks!

So, the question really is—again—“What’s it gonna take?”

The answer—for me—to at least “try!”

Doing One’s Best With Severe Mental Illness

I’ve ultimately been living with schizoaffective disorder for over 20 years.

It has totally taken me down, in the sense that I am a fraction of the person I used to be.

Much of my progress has either slowed down or is at a complete halt (depending on the area).

Some people—many people—are unable to handle severe mental illness, due to what it does to them.

There are individuals who succumb to addiction, which makes it even tougher for them to get along.

The only time I engaged in any sort of behavior that one might call “addictive” (aside from eating too much), is when I self-medicated with alcohol, two to three times a week in college.

Those were some pretty challenging days, but all days with this illness are challenging!

I eventually got on a consistent regimen of meds, and gave up alcohol consumption altogether.

It’s hard, and there’s no way around that fact.

All in all, you could say, I am one of the lucky ones!

I am medication compliant, I don’t drink or use street drugs, and I try to have (and live) a better life.

To those close to me especially, they sometimes hear me say that “life sucks.”

And, the fact is… it can and does for many people!

I am self-tasked, though, to do my best—in all things.

Have a great day/night!