What To Do When You’re Treatment Resistant To Psychiatric Medications

In my experience, you take the medications anyway.

I am still very symptomatic, and life is quite a challenge for me.

I won’t get into a lot of detail regarding my symptoms, but I can tell you that many of my symptoms are classic schizophrenia symptoms.

There isn’t much left to the imagination where my mental health is concerned.

I only wish, that after trying a half dozen medications, I had greater relief.

And, while it’s true that I haven’t gone to a second line of defense medication (i.e. clozapine), I have been doing all I can at present, to make things manageable as they are.

What are some of your experiences with trying numerous psychiatric medications?

How Do You Maintain Connection When You Have Mental Illness?

For me, I wasn’t able to maintain many relationships for the first several years of my illness.

And then, with time, I slowly began to “try.”

It is difficult having schizoaffective disorder without a doubt, and I am in my 24th year since my first psychotic break!

What that means is that I’ve had time to “figure” some things out, which has much to do with my engaging with my doctors.

But, every day (and I mean every day), I am symptomatic!

I am hoping to get on a medication that will augment my current regimen.

Will that happen?

I don’t know.

I may ultimately have to go to something stronger.

What I’ve learned is that I’m going to have good days and bad days.

But, as always, I try… and, take things one day at a time.

Have you learned to slow down to the point that you are now taking your fight with mental illness, one day at a time? What did that look like for you? How did you get to the one day at a time mentality?

“Overcoming” Needs To Be Discussed More Frequently

There’s a lot of people who don’t feel what I feel day in and day out. Maybe 99.5% do not, according to the research.

And, it’s not like there’s a scale for schizophrenia!

Schizophrenia is an illness that you clearly have or you clearly don’t.

You either are (or have been symptomatic) or you’re not. You’ve had a psychotic episode or two or three etc., or you have not!

I guess I’m sharing this because I have come to meet people over the years who don’t deal with severe mental illness in the way that I do.

Oh well! Life definitely sucks more than I want it to!

Still, I choose to dwell on how much I’ve overcome along the way! That’s the only thing that gives me peace and/or satisfaction anymore.

I can’t do it all the time, but remembering my illness-related accomplishments does seem to help!

How about you? What kinds of things have you overcome while being ill?

Cognitive Dissonance And The Push-Pull Of Severe Mental Illness

Imagine, if you will, scores of people out there, battling severe mental illness, minimizing cognitive dissonance, and finding their way?

Can it be done? How can it be done?

For me, I have become so reliant on specific doses of the meds I take, that I haven’t been able to take anything less and be successful.

Perhaps “success” is all in the eye of the beholder!

But, I would like to function in an even higher capacity than what I am!

I partake of personal development audios from time to time, and those are inspirational, but what would really be helpful, is overcoming this mess of cognitive dissonance.

Some might say it just takes practice, but for me, I believe it is a bit more complicated than that!

Without offering up all the reasons in the world (i.e. sleeping a lot), I know that I experience a lot of push-pull, that I loosely recognize as cognitive dissonance.

So, my best tactic in this area, has been to suppress or try to ignore symptoms, which is not always possible, but I can do it some of the time, which helps a lot!

What are you doing to have more stable thinking amid your illness?

Why Schizophrenia? Why Me? Why Not?

I cannot figure out why I am plagued with schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. I just can’t… except for that fever that I got when I was around the age of two. Or, maybe a few other possibilities!

It’s that same fever that my parents argued over taking me to the hospital for vs. going to church.

What a damn terrible deal… for me!

My parents’ struggle must have been something awful… /s

Difficult to comprehend or imagine! /s

Yes, I need to get over all of the origin stories eventually, if I am to keep moving forward and progressing with my goals!

Because right now, I am stuck in “analysis paralysis,” and I don’t know how to be consistent!

And, that thing about energy… There is no magical way to get more of it!

All I want to do is eat and listen to music right now!

And, if it wasn’t the fever that caused me to have schizophrenia, was it the poverty? Or perhaps the distant family history of more than one family member having needing to, or who was actually sent to an asylum?

Things were different in the 19th century. Hell, things are still different 150-200 years later!

Are you holding onto any incidents that happened that may have (at a minimum), exacerbated your illness? What have you done to make peace with the situation(s)?

Had I Not Found This Community…

I might not have realized the extent of trauma or suffering that I experienced as a child.

The importance of this is to heal those wounds, even as some of them were previously repressed.

There are no easy answers to overcoming certain situations in life, especially when one’s illness continues to be “front and center.”

For me, I focus on the notion of “growth…” and, that’s all I plan to do!

What has this community done for you?

A Word That Gets Thrown Around A Lot, And Means A Lot, To A Lot Of People

Yes, I am talking about the ‘R’ word or “recovery.”

What exactly does it mean?

Well, time has taught me, that…

1) Recovery means different things to different people.

2) Recovery is a loaded term!

3) Recovery should not be the “catch all” that it sometimes is.

Unfortunately, the above is true for a lot of people with mental illness(es). So true in fact, that, my definition of recovery had to stand out (at least in the sense that I understood what recovery meant and what it didn’t mean). For me.

Recovery according to Mio…

To strive for a better version of myself today!

As I do some personal development, I am reminded that yesterday is gone. And, for all intents and purposes, it is gone for good!

Thus, I am trying to reminisce far less than what I have in the past, focusing more and more on the day in front of me aka the present moment, or the “here and now,” for those who enjoy eastern philosophy/religion. 🙂

While writing this post, I was reminded that I don’t want to be a hypocrite! IN ANY WAY!

So, while I don’t fully believe in a destination for recovery, I do think we can (and should) try to develop habits that help us! And, this is no matter how long that takes…

I am not sure how far I will personally be able to get (again, no destination), but chances are good, that if I stay on this path, I will realize that I am doing far better on it than I am off of it (trying to stick to good habits is the key).

Do you have any effective strategies for grounding yourself and/or developing lasting habits?

It Is That I Am Aware (A Poem)

I am aware of all that can go wrong.
While being aware of that which could go right.
I am an optimist.
But, I lean on the pessimistic side of life.
Right now that is.
Things can get better.
It will require teamwork.
But, do people know how to work together?
This is my concern.
Can we do it as one?
We could join hands and sing “Kumbaya.”
But, that’s precisely what we don’t want to do.
Right now that is.
Things can get better.

Since I’ve Been Blogging…

I have a space to ask, “how can I make it better?”

And, the side effect is, I ask the same question about my life/illness!

I wish I could say, with some amount of certainty, that it is possible to fully recover (under psychiatry’s thoughts on the subject).

But, I feel as though, there will be many ups and downs—no matter what I choose to believe!

I mean, that’s life, right?

Well, yes—but, when you’re talking about mental health issues—I think it goes beyond that!

I don’t want to sound negative, but I am aware enough to know that, yes, things could improve—maybe even a lot—but, will symptoms altogether vanish?

My experience is, “no, they won’t.”

That said, I’d love to hear from you, about your experiences with mental illness recovery!

Thanks in advance for sharing.

I Am Frightened, But Maybe That’s Good!

I am scared of several things right now!

My health, getting COVID-19, my wife’s health, and my wife getting COVID-19.

I am also fearful of not being able to make changes to my daily routine (in order to address the things I need to for my overall health’s sake).

I know that I can only look after “my” health.

And, I am the king of planning (I can plan for days)!

But, when it comes to executing my plans, I am not really the king at all. :/

On the bright side, I have logged into MyFitnessPal every day for 45 days!

But, I’ve only lost two lbs., which they say, is better than gaining, so…

I will continue to cross my fingers, and try to adopt an “ideal” daily routine.

Are you good at planning, but have difficulty executing your plans? How did you overcome the situation?