Happy Pride Month!

I don’t always post on holidays (or for significant events), but today, I want to post on Pride Month.

To me (and, it hasn’t always been this way, having grown up in a small town), love is love.

Let me repeat that for those who may not have heard me, and for those sitting in the back…

Love is love!!!

Happy Pride Month, every one! 🙂

Someone Who I Can Look Up To

“The only meaning I can ascribe to my life is one that challenges me and makes me happy.” —Mio Angelo

Perhaps the most motivational person for me in life, is in fact, my grandfather.

Watching the 90-year father of my late father, in his last days, knowing that he worked hard his entire life, imparts to me a great desire to do better.

I was always close to my grandmother (who passed away at the age of 88), but haven’t been as close to my grandfather.

Still, my grandfather loves me today, just as much as my grandmother did, I have no doubt.

But, I have failed this man in one respect.

I don’t call him (he lives three hours away), partly because of issues with my illness, but mostly due to the staff at the nursing home he lives in.

In short, they don’t like to take calls, and I don’t like to wrestle with a bunch of people with shitty attitudes regarding the elderly and their loved ones.

So, my grandfather has had heart issues (I believe he had a valve replaced about 10 years ago), but is in great health overall.

And, the fact that he is still alive today, makes me smile, and gives me hope that I, too, may live a long (and healthy) life.

Who in your life do you admire, that represents the kind of person you want to be?

Whoever this person is, you wouldn’t model your entire life after them in every possible respect (or maybe you would), but I know that everyone looks up to someone in some regard.

Please tell me about who this person is for you in the comments.

Ruminating On My Shitty Family

Before I get started, I want you all to know, that I am practicing kindness towards my shitty family.

That said, the devastation that poverty brings is significant!

As I look back at growing up with my cousins and all of their parents (on one side of the family), I am reminded of the horrors of growing up poor.

All of the adults in this dynamic were employed, but none of them had an education.

Personally, I feel as though if you want to work, you shouldn’t be making total peanuts. Education or no education.

Moving on…

None of my family ever reaches out to me or anyone I am close to.

I’ve done plenty of reaching out on my own, but they just do not reciprocate.

It’s sad; and, I personally blame poor role models, a lack of desire for healing/personal development, as well as (of course), all of us growing up impoverished.

I mean, is it normal to only see one another at the “more important” funerals?

Weddings are also overlooked.

And, sadly, I think that this is fast becoming the way that it is!

Maybe it’s just me, but I wonder…

How did you all grow up, and how do you get along with your (close and extended) family today?

The Friend Who Helped Me Get Up The Confidence To Date My Wife

My progress with my mental health is quite unusual. I’ll admit that.

And, I took a big leap forward in stability and in life, just prior to my dating my now wife.

One of my best friends was there. A lot more than what most people would have been able to be (even if time wasn’t a factor).

He is an owner of a small business, and gave me his “time,” which allowed me to figure out a lot of what I needed to figure out.

As I look back on those days (when I didn’t have a clue about dating), I am reminded that my friend was “there” for me.

So, this goes out to the guy who demonstrated “above and beyond” friendship.

Thank you, my wonderful friend (you know who you are)! 😉

Some Things I Recently Figured Out

• You deserve more than to just exist.
• Your old responses to stress can no longer be.
• You can’t save everyone.
• Be a good example to others.
• Be thankful for all that you have and all that you are.
• Try, try and try again.
• We are creatures of habit.
• The past is no more.
• Do not concern yourself with age. Concern yourself with living.
• Make new memories and forget old ones.
• 2020 is the greatest year of your life.
• Take courage and do it now.
• FOCUS on whatever it is you choose to.
• Go easy on yourself and love yourself.
• Take deep breaths to relax.
• Work hard. Very hard. Also, work smart.
• Spend time on your hobbies and interests.
• Do things to help your loved ones.
• Do things that make your life better.
• Forgive often. Forget as necessary.
• De-clutter and simplify your life.
• Exercise every day.
• Be with those who want to be with you.
• You can do it!
• Confidence is your first language.
• Help others.
• Be as busy as you can be, with a goal of sleeping overnight.
• Follow your schedule as closely as possible.
• Remember where you came from and how far you’ve gotten, with and without your illness.
• Be grateful for every bit of your progress.
• Incorporate the healthiest of boundaries.
• Be grateful for your friends and family. Be grateful to your friends and family.
• Deaths are the kinds of things that require a response, and it’s completely up to you how you respond.
• Eat 2,000 calories (or less) per day.
• Consume LOTS of zero-calorie beverages.
• Regret nothing. I repeat. Regret nothing.
• Take a prescribed sleeping pill at night.
• Live your life, realizing there will be a last day, and knowing you persevered through every day leading up to it.
• Stop engaging in self-defeating behaviors. Settle down and enjoy be even-keeled.
• Believe.

Setting Boundaries And Having Them Respected

For the past year or so, I have been working on setting boundaries.

And, for those who actively set boundaries, I am curious to know whether you have been met with any resistance by those who “claim to love you?”

I know I have. In a big way. And, by family especially…

None of my family have good boundaries. And, I have had to put boundaries on nearly every one of my relationships with family.

The outcome has not been good.

Communication has gone by the way side between a handful of family members and I, and there’s either nothing I can do, or am willing to do, about it.

Just the other day, a family member I trusted, gave me the third degree about my mental illness.

They made all sorts of “incorrect” assumptions about me, my life, and the trajectory of chronic schizoaffective disorder.

It was a sad scene, and I didn’t fully realize their iill ntentions until the next day when I replayed the situation in my head, and subsequently discussed it with my wife.

Why would someone, anyone, ask me the things I was asked?

The answer is simple. I was and am vulnerable, and my wife was not present.

Had she been around, not a single question would have been asked.

It’s so sad and I will go more into the trouble with family members and boundaries in a future post.

Until then, be well.