Something In-Depth Regarding Schizophrenia I’ve Never Written About

I’ve been thinking about bringing up this subject for some time, and now it’s coming to fruition.

There are many people with a schizophrenia diagnosis who are stuck in a world of delusion/hallucination.

And, what I mean by that, is that they, through no fault of their own, experience an alternate reality—one that is different from the rest of us.

This has much to do with their not consistently taking an antipsychotic drug.

Antipsychotics help to keep one from going through this alternate reality I speak of.

If I were able to wave a magic wand and do so in a loving and helpful fashion, I would do so in the direction of those who both need a schizophrenia diagnosis and antipsychotic medication.

For whatever reason, my delusions/hallucinations do not exacerbate my reality, as much as many other people going through schizophrenia.

Thus, it is not all that unusual to be knee deep in this stuff, and not realize you’re hallucinating or experiencing a delusion.

Again, it is my sincere hope that someone, somewhere is able to get help to individuals who may need to be on some appropriate medication, for their symptoms.

It isn’t fun being in an alternate reality, and chances are pretty good people experiencing these types of symptoms, aren’t even aware of them… until they have an all-out psychotic break.

And even then, there is a strong lack of awareness aka a lot of denial going on.

Can We Ever Understand Another Person’s Suffering?

For those who don’t understand severe mental illness, I have made attempts at times to show you, the reader, what it’s like.

I am unsure, however, that I could ever succeed!

I think you have to have a close loved one have it, in order for you to truly get it.

Some of the things I presently deal with (as things cycle a lot), are suicidal ideation, depression and not wanting to do anything, lack of energy and not able to do a lot, plus delusions and hallucinations.

Most of the above symptoms are mainstays, but there are times when my suicidal ideations are better, and that’s about the only real difference for me.

Anyhow, I don’t figure many people will come to understand the chronic suffering.

I take meds, and there are lots of people who are in full support of that, which makes sense for my diagnosis (schizoaffective disorder), but some of these supporters don’t realize the double edged sword of psych meds.

They don’t heal, they don’t even fix fully, they simply help us to cope… in a rather dismal way much of the time.

Basically, if there is a takeaway on understanding something you don’t understand (and, this applies to many, many illnesses)… it is… give the other person the benefit of the doubt!

I won’t even say “have compassion,” because I think that having compassion can be difficult to come by in today’s society.

What are your thoughts regarding compassion? Do you think it’s an all or none type of thing?

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

It seems there is still a lot of stigma around mental health. Even in 2022.

Everyone has mental health!

It is a spectrum.

The goal is to treat your mental health like you would anything else that requires your attention, medically speaking.

Mental health matters!

Perhaps more so than what many people ever realized.

Thanks for reading and please take care of your mental health, this month and every month.

There Is One Thing More Disturbing Than Your Own Thoughts

The thoughts you perceive others to have.

I wish there were an easy fix to severe mental illness.

Because right now, I’m at a loss for words.

Because right now I feel terrible.

I don’t usually get down on myself all that much, but at present, I’m feeling that between my meds, my illness, and my upbringing, things are quite difficult!

When you have a thought disorder, enter me, the shit is real and the shit is tough!

I want to crawl under a rock, but I have better coping skills than that.

I want to just be told that things are going exactly the way they’re supposed to…

I had a psychiatrist that I saw for close to 15 years, and he was amazing!

I am giving my current psychiatrist every chance, but I have changed so much in the past four or five years, that I don’t think that A) the old doctor would completely know me; and B) the new doctor knows of where I’ve been.

And, the new doctor may very well know all of these things. It is possible.

One thing I’ve got going for me is that I am open, so if there’s a subject or subjects I want to broach with this new physician, I’m going to do it!

Do you have trouble speaking up to your mental health providers? What have the results been when you do?

P.S. I know that what other people think of me is none of my business, but try telling that to me when I’m not doing so well, which seems to be a lot as of late.

How Do You Maintain Connection When You Have Mental Illness?

For me, I wasn’t able to maintain many relationships for the first several years of my illness.

And then, with time, I slowly began to “try.”

It is difficult having schizoaffective disorder without a doubt, and I am in my 24th year since my first psychotic break!

What that means is that I’ve had time to “figure” some things out, which has much to do with my engaging with my doctors.

But, every day (and I mean every day), I am symptomatic!

I am hoping to get on a medication that will augment my current regimen.

Will that happen?

I don’t know.

I may ultimately have to go to something stronger.

What I’ve learned is that I’m going to have good days and bad days.

But, as always, I try… and, take things one day at a time.

Have you learned to slow down to the point that you are now taking your fight with mental illness, one day at a time? What did that look like for you? How did you get to the one day at a time mentality?

Doing One’s Best And Being Symptomatic

I used to believe I was doing my best by holding my thoughts captive.

And, now I believe this philosophical approach is not so good for me.

But, how do you change the very thing that made you who you are?

In terms of my personality, I’ve always been “deep.”

From adolescence to present day, I’ve always been a “thinker.”

But, now I’m tired of “thinking…”

I’m just tired of mental illness to be straight!

I’m bothered by some of my behaviors, which I’ve began viewing as symptoms of the illness (rather than my being witty, intelligent, or clever).

During the half dozen or so times I was inpatient, I can recall a range of these behaviors:

From not talking to talking, from being polite to being belligerent.

Simple, yet revealing (at least to me)!

This was and is my illness. And, it’s still the pattern I’m involved in today (although I’m not belligerent anymore).

I’d love to end this post by asking some witty, intelligent, or clever questions… but, my tolerance level for my own bullshit has pegged the V/U meter.

That, or as I’ve already said, I’m just tired!

“Overcoming” Needs To Be Discussed More Frequently

There’s a lot of people who don’t feel what I feel day in and day out. Maybe 99.5% do not, according to the research.

And, it’s not like there’s a scale for schizophrenia!

Schizophrenia is an illness that you clearly have or you clearly don’t.

You either are (or have been symptomatic) or you’re not. You’ve had a psychotic episode or two or three etc., or you have not!

I guess I’m sharing this because I have come to meet people over the years who don’t deal with severe mental illness in the way that I do.

Oh well! Life definitely sucks more than I want it to!

Still, I choose to dwell on how much I’ve overcome along the way! That’s the only thing that gives me peace and/or satisfaction anymore.

I can’t do it all the time, but remembering my illness-related accomplishments does seem to help!

How about you? What kinds of things have you overcome while being ill?

My One Year Blogging Anniversary

This week is my one year blogging anniversary!

With that, I am just wondering whether you think there is a need to change the name of this blog, or should I plan to keep it as it is?

I feel that I do a lot of sharing of information, and it seems a lot like a journal style offering, but I could really use your feedback (as I’m not entirely sure here)!

How do you take my blog? Has it evolved to the point where calling it Mentally Ill In America is no longer valid?

If I don’t change the name, it would be just as helpful to know how you generally categorize my posts!

I am a truth seeker first and foremost (I hope you know that), and it’s not aways about me, so please, please chime in! 🙂

Finally, I’m not sure what I’ll do if anything (maybe change my About page?), but thank you in advance for commenting!