I Started Out An Empath And Ended Up Empathic

The difference is I’ve hardened up a bit!

By having poor boundaries (not knowing better early on), I was highly susceptible to being taken advantage of!

And, I was… several times…

Today, though… after many run-ins with toxic people and a few narcissists, I now know better!

That’s not a challenge, blogosphere… it’s just a statement that I am learning, along the way in life, which is the way life’s supposed to work! 🙂

How Personal Development Has Been “Forced” On Me

NOTE: When I say “forced,” I mean that I elected this path of personal development, which has much to do with how I process the world around me.

Personal development has been something I’ve been doing for 25 years, with varying degrees of success!

What I am beginning to figure out is that much of my progress is not only “slow,” but the process (for me) serves as more “motivational” than anything else.

Since I’ve learned that motivation doesn’t last… a lot of what I am hearing from listening to personal development audios, is not really helping!

Again, I get the benefit of being motivated… for a little while… maybe a day at most…

And, these are my observations!

Now, how has personal development been “forced” on me?

From my earliest days of getting doused with motivation (at 20/21), things were not “right” with me!

I didn’t know it at the time… but, for much of my life up until and after this period of personal development dousing, I was highly anxious!

My entire life, in fact (and in retrospect), I had a lot of anxiety… A lot!

I can remember being questioned about my life “privately” in elementary school, by social workers.

They asked me questions about my home life, and accepted the answers I gave them. At face value even!

If I were a school social worker, and I was questioning kids about their home life… I’d probably have done my homework prior to speaking to them!

Anyhow, I know about budget constraints and about kids falling through the cracks… plus, this was in the early 80’s!

In other words, I was likely doomed from the get-go…

So, personal development was my earliest “go-to” for anything I needed to understand (and, “explain” this mad life to me)!

What are some important ways in which you’ve grown, through having mental illness?

When And How To Be Vulnerable

1. First and foremost, being (or not being) vulnerable is a boundaries issue!

2. You can choose to be vulnerable with people who have (and are) proving themselves, worthy of this intimate form of sharing.

3. There is an exception for some in their sharing: When you are wanting to be anonymous (like on the blogosphere, where some individuals prefer anonymity).

4. Be vulnerable systematically and reciprocally! Again, only with those who have and are proving themselves to be worthy of intimate sharing.

Thanks for reading!

The above list was compiled, based on my experiences.

Perhaps you have similar experiences in this realm that you wish to share? If so, what are they?

I Took A Long, Hard Look At Yesterday’s Post (And, The Responses I Got)

As I was re-reading the post (several times), I caught onto what my reader’s were saying…

I didn’t realize that I was coming off as so “discouraging…” and, I want to apologize!

Especially as I’ve personally had a notable improvement with one of my symptoms in the last short while…

For us, the word “Can’t” is an unfair one to utter (to say the least)!!!

And, I wanted to bring attention, to the fact that I am better today at managing one very troubling aspect of my psychosis.

I have two posts in cue, where I’ve written about this improvement I’ve personally experienced!

I used to “connect the dots” a lot over the past few decades, and recently realized that I’ve been doing less of that – which is amazing!

Once again, I am sorry for the tone I took yesterday…

Thanks to my readers, for taking me to task (so to speak) with my language… that helps me to grow!

31 Things That Have Either Helped Me Or That Have Not

Helpful:

Community.

Boundaries.

Suffering.

The push-pull of perfectionism.

To always make the effort!

Being polite and conversational.

Being industrious.

Learning to better trust myself amid schizoaffective disorder.

Learning to “adjust” over time.

Being organized in most ways.

Listening to music.

Having a variety of hobbies.

Giving back via this blog.

Having a healthy, primary relationship.

Making good food choices.

Exercise.

True self-care.

Being vulnerable with trustworthy people.

Having an open mind.

8 hours of nightly, restful sleep.

Character development / Personal development.

Medication.

Journaling.

Facing my fears.

Not Helpful:

Overthinking… The cause of more than a few of my ails. “Just stop it!” is good advice for those who think too much. If only it were that easy!

Graphic TV and movies… TV and movies in general, have not been the most helpful for me. I have a difficult time sitting through movies, but watching a TV program is doable.

Relationships that are one sided… To be healthy, relationships need time to grow. They are two people giving of each other selflessly and healthily. Generosity on both sides, has been a foundational component in many of my relationships as well.

Therapy… Maybe it’s just me, but everyone seems to have an agenda! For me, my agenda is clear. I want to articulate all the things that I go through, and that have helped me to manage schizoaffective disorder.

My symptoms (to include worry)… My mind is oftentimes unsettled. And, my symptoms are difficult to deal with and do not go away!

My medication side effects… Medication is important, but it does have quite a few side effects, that exacerbate my being regimented or performing activities in a consistent fashion.

Arrogant, self-centered, toxic people… Although, they have provided me with a greater understanding of life and people in general.

What can you relate to on this list? And, if this were your list, what might you personally add to it?

The Time It Takes For Me To Make Something Good (Or Even Decent)

All I really feel like doing right now is blogging.

Like every other hobby I involve myself in, it takes me a lot of time to get things right.

Don’t get me wrong, it takes time for everyone, but it takes me a bit longer it seems.

I do something and then undo it. I make a few changes that I think will work, and then make even more of them, messing everything up that I wanted different.

In any event, pursuing my interests is not usually straightforward for me. It. just. takes. time.

I wish that it didn’t take so long, because I obsess over all the little details, which basically makes me a perfectionist.

I try and separate perfectionism from putting something of quality out, and that’s how I usually do things.

Have a great day/night!