What Is An Empathetic Individual? (A Poem)

For me, an empathetic individual is someone who knows how to express empathy.

It’s someone who can put themselves in another’s shoes (or at least try to).

It’s someone who understands that life is rarely black and white.

It’s someone who feels things and knows that there is such a thing as “feelings.“

“Empathy simply wishes to comfort” is another way of describing what empathy is from my viewpoint.

You are either born with empathy or you are not!

I do not want to know a life without empathy.

My Frustration With Not Having Enough Energy

My not having enough energy to do basic tasks is difficult for me.

There was a time when I had energy, but that time has passed.

It’s a lot to handle to be honest.

I have a lot of suicidal ideations, but have no plan to do anything about them.

I just endure. Endure. Endure.

That is life with chronic mental illness.

I also recognize that chronic illness in general is tough!

Thus, it’s difficult to know where to turn some days!

Lately, I’ve been putting my efforts into discovering new music.

Billie Eilish and Adele each have new music I am listening to!

I love female artists!

Just when will women rule the world?

I think they’re on their way! 🙂

I No Longer Compare Myself To People Who Do Not Have Mental Illness

One of the good things about my first long-term psychiatrist, is that he made every effort to get me to stay awake during the day (as often as I could).

He basically wanted me to be as much like the rest of the world as I could be.

And, I agreed that that made the most sense. At the time especially.

So, I spent years trying to make a schedule I could follow, that had me up during much of the day.

It wasn’t easy, but I now stay awake in the daytime primarily.

Another thing that this doctor did all those years ago, was that he compared me to people who did not have mental illness.

That was okay when I was younger, because it helped me to think about how the rest of the world gets along.

But today, I view any comparison between me and someone who is not chronically ill (for example) as “apples to oranges.”

So, while this first doctor of mine was helpful in getting me to conform ever so slightly, it was actually my getting online and putting myself out there in the blogosphere, that had me see some of my biggest strides.

A lot has changed!

And, that could have much to do with where I am at today as compared to where I was a decade plus ago.

For instance, I used to be single and lonely. And now, I have a partner and am usually only lonely when she’s not around.

In any event, I did not envision the life I now have, but am grateful for it!

Things are still very difficult though, and probably always will be.

I just have to take life a day at a time, and that helps me to get by.

Why do you suppose us humans like to take things a day at a time?

My guess is that we have so many responsibilities, that is would be virtually impossible to NOT do so.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment!

If You’ve Read Any Part Of My Blog, Then You Know…

That I make an effort every day to make my illness more manageable.

Yes, it is difficult, but I shall not give up!

I fight hard every day to have some semblance of peace and happiness.

I also have a partner who is sticking things out with me, and I with her.

There are no easy solutions that I’ve found involving chronic illness.

You just have to do your best and make the effort.

Even when things are tough!

Something that tends to make the day brighter is diet soda.

I know… that probably sounds funny. 🙂

But, I’ve recognized that five cans spread out over the course of eight hours, seems to do me good.

What about with you? What is your relationship with caffeine or even sugar? Tell us something about your approach to these chemicals.

Btw – If you don’t do caffeine, I’d like to hear about that too!

Trying Doesn’t Guarantee Overcoming

I try every day to make a dent in my life, but remain attached to my antipsychotic meds (which I need).

Progress happens, but it’s slow… and I’m slow… and my energy levels are in the dirt.

Anyway, the message of hope is… hang in there… even if your life sucks.

I get it. A lot of us do.

Just be kind to yourself.

It can and will get better.

Not perfect, but better.

Were You Ever Hospitalized And Feel You Didn’t Need To Be?

Many days, Ashley from mentalhealthathome.org, writes thought-provoking posts, and today was no exception.

The topic was on the presence and absence of violent thoughts in people with severe mental illness.

I found it fascinating to engage with others about what makes them (and me) think, what I call violent or “obtuse thoughts.”

The consensus was that these thoughts, when we have them, can be cathartic, and are NOT indicative of who we are as individuals.

In fact, no one can control their thoughts, which leads me to the point of THIS post.

As I think about the days when I needed admittance to inpatient (and it has been awhile since then), I am questioning just how bad was I?

Well, it would seem that I did have everything from racing thoughts, to psychotic thoughts, to suicidal ideations.

I even tried to leave a moving vehicle on a few occasions on the way to the hospital.

So, the point of my taking this trip down memory lane was in fact to see, were my loved ones correct, those times they took me to the ER?

And thankfully, I believe they were!

I also want to mention a statistic that has been proven over and again, that mentally ill people are no more violent than that of the general population.

That said, were you ever hospitalized and feel you didn’t need to be?

I Sometimes Take It Personally That There Are Crappy People Everywhere

First off, I overcompensate every day by having and honing decent social skills.

But, I am ill.

Secondly, my sleep is often disturbed, and I can’t get by most days, without one or two naps.

Again, I am ill.

Third, I dislike U.S. Capitalism, for it has hurt far more people than it has ever helped.

And, I’m doing better than many people in my shoes, from the standpoint that I understand the perils of U.S. Capitalism and how it destroys.

Do I like politics?

Emphatically, NO!

You have to dig deep, though, to understand how so many atrocities have come to be, in the name of U.S. Capitalism.

Unfortunately, I am not going to point most of those out to you.

But, I will say this:

This is not a black and white, one size fits all world, that we live in.

It is a global society though!

And, being transparent, present, and helpful in the ways that truly count, are very important!

Maturity is important.

Doing the right thing when no one is looking is important.

That said, success at aspects of one’s life is not a race.

We are not vying for some distant, ridiculous prize here.

This is about doing your best now, seeing the fruits of your labor as they present themselves now, and trying one more time any time you’re ready to quit.

Life is incredibly difficult, and a lot of people here on Earth are suffering. Things are not good in many ways.

What about you? Do you tell things like they are, for you and your situation? How do people respond to that?

Reflecting On My Goals (A Poem)

The hardest thing is wrestling with my thoughts.
The second hardest thing is dealing with my personal hygiene.
The third hardest thing is trying to stay awake.

It’s all very difficult to face, but these are my hierarchy of troubles.
And, I don’t have time to wait until things improve with age.
I have to start making things happen today.

For at some point, my teeth will rot out of my mouth.
And, my partner won’t want to come near me.

I must work on the difficult personal hygiene issues I face, now. And, every day moving forward.
This is what is right and this is what is necessary.

Because I haven’t been able to overcome my troubling thoughts (at least not at my present age), and I won’t all of a sudden not be tired.
But, I can have decent personal hygiene today.
And, I will do my best to do so starting now.

Thoughts On ‘Trying’

First off, I am a pessimist, for now and likely forever. And, I’ve gotten here from educating myself on things and seeing how the world works. Especially things in the United States.

So, for me, getting organized in different places on my phone, online, and at home, has made a big difference!


Perhaps the most important thing to curtail my confusion though, has been this attitude, that, “it will get better if I just hang in there.”


Well, I’ve been hanging in there for quite some time (20+ years)! And, I am happy to say, that today, I challenge most everything!


If something doesn’t sit right with me, I question it! And, this has helped me while on the path of self-development…


So, self-development for a moment…


It has negative connotations, but again (for me), it just means I will try in spite of everything! In spite of every crummy, crappy, shitty, and difficult thing I go through (and there are many), I will try!


It is my hope that for those struggling, that you know A) I am barely holding on myself; but that B) I keep doing what I can to have a better life!


I see it like this… for years, I’ve been spinning my wheels, but I’m still alive! And, it takes me infinitely longer to do many things that some people can complete in an hour or two. And, I accept all of this!


However, I have a hope, that we can all get there. One day at a time… not necessarily to a place that doesn’t exist, but rather, to a place of greater understanding!

How have you reconciled change in your life? What have you done to make things better? What kinds of changes have you made that stand out for you?