I No Longer Compare Myself To People Who Do Not Have Mental Illness

One of the good things about my first long-term psychiatrist, is that he made every effort to get me to stay awake during the day (as often as I could).

He basically wanted me to be as much like the rest of the world as I could be.

And, I agreed that that made the most sense. At the time especially.

So, I spent years trying to make a schedule I could follow, that had me up during much of the day.

It wasn’t easy, but I now stay awake in the daytime primarily.

Another thing that this doctor did all those years ago, was that he compared me to people who did not have mental illness.

That was okay when I was younger, because it helped me to think about how the rest of the world gets along.

But today, I view any comparison between me and someone who is not chronically ill (for example) as “apples to oranges.”

So, while this first doctor of mine was helpful in getting me to conform ever so slightly, it was actually my getting online and putting myself out there in the blogosphere, that had me see some of my biggest strides.

A lot has changed!

And, that could have much to do with where I am at today as compared to where I was a decade plus ago.

For instance, I used to be single and lonely. And now, I have a partner and am usually only lonely when she’s not around.

In any event, I did not envision the life I now have, but am grateful for it!

Things are still very difficult though, and probably always will be.

I just have to take life a day at a time, and that helps me to get by.

Why do you suppose us humans like to take things a day at a time?

My guess is that we have so many responsibilities, that is would be virtually impossible to NOT do so.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment!

A Final Post On Mental Health Awareness For The Month

There is much to be aware of in the world.

Unfortunately, the topic of mental health is all too often treated with apathy and disrespect.

The fact that I know this is good, but it also means that people like me, need to be out there, contributing and sharing… in whatever way we can!

Life is so short and we have to continue to try to make things better. Not just for ourselves but for others…

We must do what we can! Each and every time!

Be well all…

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

It seems there is still a lot of stigma around mental health. Even in 2022.

Everyone has mental health!

It is a spectrum.

The goal is to treat your mental health like you would anything else that requires your attention, medically speaking.

Mental health matters!

Perhaps more so than what many people ever realized.

Thanks for reading and please take care of your mental health, this month and every month.

A Reflection On Time And Self-Effort, With Prescription Antipsychotics

Where do I begin?

Seriously.

I have been thinking a lot about how I was at different ages of my life, with and without prescription antipsychotics.

And, I am curious about some things.

First off, I do believe my regular regimen of prescription antipsychotics are helping.

Secondly, I wanted to ask myself, were they even necessary to begin with?

I took to taking antipsychotics within six months of having a firm diagnosis that requires them.

And, I was able to see that something indeed needed to be done. Then and now.

I don’t believe that what started all of this was anything but psychosis.

Thankfully, the doctors knew what they were doing with me.

And thankfully, I adhered (and continue to adhere) to their recommendations.

I am still going to feel slighted. I am going to feel cheated. I am going to be upset… all at different intervals.

For I did have a life, all those years ago. It had its problems. But, I was able to do significantly more things in those days, than I could ever do today.

Now, the flip side to this is that I am alive. I get to experience some life, whereas some people don’t get that opportunity, or that opportunity is taken away from them too soon.

So, the only thing I really need to do for myself, with this information, is to note that we are all going to die, but only some of us do get to live.

It’s not a perfect reminder, but Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, all of a sudden makes sense.

Anyhow, if I had one wish, it would be to see the bulk of my symptoms go into remission.

I have gotten to experience bits and pieces of a good day though.

And, I’m not 100% where I’d like to be, and have to prepare myself, that I may never be.

But, neither will most people, independent of chronic illness even.

That said, I know my illness will continue to improve… if for no other reasons, than time and my very own self-effort.

I Showered Today And I Felt Good About Life

I don’t know if it’s coincidence, but when I shower, I oftentimes feel better than when I don’t.

And, I will add that it is an interesting phenomenon, not having the energy to do much!

When I think of how I got along before psychosis, I knew there were problems, but not on the level (no where near on the level) to what I experience today.

So, I’ve focused for years on lists and on schedules, and silly me, I keep thinking that’s where my peace lies!

In reality, though… that’s only part of my contentment (when I’m feeling content).

The other part is pushing myself (at least some of the time).

And, I think that is an easy thing to be unable to do… to forget to do as well. Forget in part, as in (again) not having the energy to do it.

Everyone is different, but what has it been like for you when it comes to being chronically ill? Do you push yourself? And, to what degree can you do so?

My American Thanksgiving Was Spent With Family

I’m aware that attitude is everything… but lately, I’ve become more and more cynical, due to my continuing education on America, and its general unwillingness to care/change its ways.

Thanksgiving was challenging, in that I wasn’t sure about traveling, nor was I feeling very “well” for at least half my time there.

I enjoyed myself though (and, the time spent with my wife’s family)… but, I am glad to be settling back into a routine at home.

I am joining a gym tomorrow. And, it is my hope that I can continue to be healthy (I’ve been losing weight for the past few months).

It has always been a one day at a time thing for me, and I’m always trying.

What do you have planned for the holiday season beginning November 1 and ending January 15?

A Bit About The Spoon Theory (And How I’m Practicing It)

Not long ago, I shared a generic daily checklist with you, here on my blog.

It was something I put a great amount of effort into, but at the end of the day, it held too many options.

Sure, it was nice seeing all of the daily possibilities in one place, but I have nowhere near the energy it takes to fill up that checklist!

So, I started looking more into the Spoon Theory, that Ashley from Mental Health @ Home has shared with all of us.

Turns out, not only was I basically reinventing the wheel with my daily checklist, I was being ineffective in getting the most important things done!

The Spoon Theory isolates those things that are most important and gives them a ranking system, allowing for you to choose where you spend your energy, day in and day out.

It just keeps things simple, which I like very much.

The originator of the Spoon Theory created it for herself some time ago, to share with friends and family, how she deals with lupus.

She once said, that the Spoon Theory is for anyone battling an illness, and severe mental illness would definitely fit into that category.

In the spirit of sharing more of my day to day with my readers, I am including a snapshot of my spoons.

Thus, I hope others can find inspiration on the Spoon Theory. And, a quick google search regarding Spoon Theory will tell you all you need to know to get started.

For reference purposes, I have been trying to allot myself 15 spoons every day. And, many days I work with that or a little bit less.

I am interested to know. Who all out there is practicing the Spoon Theory (or any variation of such)? And, what have you found is a good number of spoons to deal with, for your situation?

How I Overcame Agnosia To Become “Mostly” Aware Today

In the world of brick and mortar business, it’s “Location. Location. Location.”

It’s not much different with severe mental illness, in particular, schizophrenia, except that it’s “Education. Education. Education.”

I am one of those geeks, that cares about my well-being, and who wants to be the best I can be.

That being said, I go through periods of time (i.e. years), that I don’t have the ability to work through my core symptoms.

Maybe I’m under/over medicated, maybe it’s the side effects, maybe it’s because I’m treatment resistant, or maybe it’s a combination of all the above!

Whatever your individual situation, your doctor and you know “you” best. So, I highly recommend seeking out (or continuing to seek out) opportunities to learn more about your condition with your doctor.

Wanting to be educated is generally how I have been for much of my adult life, and having mental illness hasn’t changed that.

If anything, for me, being ill makes me want to learn that much more. To again… be the best I can be!

Aside from blogging (and, all that that entails), what sorts of opportunities have you found yourself getting involved with, in order to raise your awareness of various aspects of your condition?

My Life’s A Mess

But, you know what?

I keep trying and doing my best.

My only concern is that it would be great to be more on-the-ball!

I feel sometimes I am going down the same dead-end paths.

What can I do though?

Aside from continuing to challenge myself, I don’t imagine much!

Do you feel as though you are making traction on your goals? Do you have a difficult time with consistency? What have you done to do better with being consistent?

More Transparency With My Condition

On some level, I am treatment resistant.

When I hear the tales of others being symptom free for a long time, in some cases, years… I am reminded that at least in my case, that is not the situation.

It’s okay though, right?

I mean, we all have something to deal with.

It’s just difficult having any chronic condition—especially one that isn’t being treated with a high degree of relief.

I think, for me, I sometimes employ high expectations of the people, places, and things in my life.

Because I am not asymptomatic. I have a plethora of mental health nuances, so I just have to deal—as does anyone else.

And, that is what I do.

Is being treatment resistant your reality? What’s the next step for medical technology? And, how do you reconcile your chronic conditions with the notion that some people do go a very long time and do quite well with their so-called chronic illnesses?