What Makes You Value Something?

I was watching “Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath,” and have been thinking about that and the military and a lot of other “get them while they’re young” organizations.

You know, it is true?

When you get someone to follow your vision, while they’re “young and dumb,” you have a blind participant.

And, sometimes this blind participant will follow you for life!

Certainly, they will follow you for a long time, if the conditions surrounding their allegiance are optimal!

Let’s just be honest…

Take the military and the fact that people join the organization when they’re young.

Never mind that many of them join because they don’t think they have other options.

So, considering this example of the military…

How many people do you know, that served, who stand by that organization 100%?

I know a few people who served, and some are fans and others are not!

But, mainly… those who joined the military “when they were young and dumb,” which is most people (again, being honest), do support the organization.

It’s time to be aware of what entities like this, are doing to our young people.

And, that includes going to college (which, to me, is far from being a bad thing).

Hmmm. Perhaps that’s why the current U.S.’ administration and its supporters have become increasingly outspoken about “not getting an education.”

I Think A Lot About How I Function

I don’t do that well!

The difference between now and at any point in my life before I was diagnosed, is significant!

I just want to be able to be more consistent in my day to day life!

I have a schedule… one that I’ve been working on for quite some time.

And, I am experimenting with the number of hours I sleep every night.

I really don’t see an end in sight to my suffering though…

I’d like to be transparent with you!

Mental illness has robbed me of a lot!

That said, I have a lot too!

A wife, her family, my mom, a dog, this community…

How cool is that?

All of it!

It’s all great!

I am seriously grateful for the people (and dog) I count on, to help brighten my day!

I just would have liked my life to turn out differently.

I would have liked to have been a therapist.

But, I don’t function all that well with what I am dealing with, and there is zero let up of persistent symptoms.

FYI There aren’t many people with schizophrenia leading therapy groups.

Peer groups, perhaps…

But, not all out therapy sessions!

Oh well…

These are just my thoughts!

And, I have accepted my situation for what it is…

I recognize that many people are not doing what they would have enjoyed doing, if given the chance.

As for me… this is what I can do!

So, I am doing it!

An Update On My Perceived Addictions

NOTE: Everyone is different and I encourage you to get the help you need to fight your diagnoses.

I have gotten involved with a variety of negative behaviors over the years. This is true.

Upon closer examination of many of these behaviors, I do believe that my mental illness, the root of how I process my world, is to blame.

This is important, because I firmly believe that when we think we know, we don’t necessarily know. And, vice versa!

And, that’s why I trust science!

Among the behaviors I thought were problem behaviors, my gambling (that I wrote about last week), I have learned, can be a problem, especially as I have severe mental illness!

I have assigned rationale for most of the questionable behaviors I’ve been involved with since I was a kid.

But, some of this rationale I assign is actually the result of my being (severely) ill.

This, for me, I am happy to say, means that I don’t believe I am an addict of anything! Other than maybe a food addict, but even as strong of a possibility as I once thought that was, I no longer think of myself as that either!

Also, I don’t know much about addictive personalities to tell you the truth… but again, after a closer examination, none of what I’ve gone through (to me) suggests I have an addictive personality.

I share this because I feel it’s the truth and I want to be transparent, always honest, with you, the reader.

Regarding the idea that I may be a food addict… I believe that that is explained by the fact that I take three medications (two of which are said to cause weight gain), and that I used to be athletic and in good shape!

Sure, people gain weight every day, but even my alcohol consumption, was me self-medicating, as I no longer drink (since I’ve been taking meds).

All in all, I am lucky I don’t have addictions (again, I’ve never been diagnosed with any, which is necessary to note… especially as I regularly see a mental health professional)… but, I am knee deep in a quandary over my food consumption!

As I don’t believe I can do much to improve my treatment of schizoaffective disorder… meds, to me, are the culprit for my eating too much!

So really, all of this is probably quite unnecessary. However, after examining the situation in greater detail, I knew I was wrong earlier and decided to share this.

Plus, I have a feeling that you all may have some interesting things to share in the comment section! 🙂

Addressing This Subject Matter One More Time

This post is not directed at anyone in particular. It’s just how I am feeling about what I have been trying to convey, over the past 101 posts on this blog.

I did not come here to play favorites with the severity of mental health diagnoses. If you check, I actually spent a lot of time early on discussing chronic mental illness. This approach may or may not change.

And, I want to say that you don’t have to like me or agree with my experiences, but if you’re inclined to… please don’t push any “recovery” views on me.

In my blog, I share my experiences with “recovery,” and how, because of my symptoms, there is very limited hope for me… a person with chronic schizoaffective disorder.

I’ve been living with this disease for 20 years, and there is no “recovery” for people with my illness. Our most invasive symptoms just do not disappear. My most invasive symptoms just have not disappeared!

Again, my symptoms have not gone away. At all.

I am sorry if that threatens you and your place on this planet. To be frank.

But, I speak the truth… about the schizophrenia type disorders only.

As someone experiencing one especially.

I am also sorry if you think my attitude sucks, that I’m misinformed, or that I’m full of shit.

There is no “recovery” for schizophrenia for me, and the other 90% of people who have this disease!

It’s a farce to think that it will all be better some day. Because there is evidence to suggest otherwise.

Acceptance is knowing your situation, and knowing that it does get better, but that being symptom free is a stretch.

This Blog Is Evolving (And It’s Only Been A Month)!

I am happy to report that I won’t take any crap off anyone.

Just kidding… but, “I won’t!” Lol

In all seriousness, the blog will have been up for a month tomorrow. And, I am celebrating all the cosmetic and logistical improvements!

As difficult as it is to post about things that people don’t want to hear sometimes, it is necessary for me to do so.

Mostly for my own understanding, but also for anyone else who cares to “go there” with me.

I hope you’re having a great day/night.

Playing Nice And Following The Status Quo

The other day, I had two of my comments censored (from two different bloggers).

My comments weren’t bad. They were honest. And, they never saw the light of day.

For whatever reason.

Like it or not, censorship is not what I am about.

I am here to tell it like it is.

Each and every time I am able.

Chronic mental illness is bad. Every kind of it.

The schizophrenia disorders are also bad. All of them.

The fact that I can sit here and tell you about my illness, 20 years after it started is amazing, and should be cherished.

Not because I am some kind of hero, but because I am sharing with you “the truth!”

And, that is reason enough!